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Vindya Vee

Never Fail a New Year Resolution Ever Again…?

In this post I wanted to talk about New Year Resolutions …as I would love for you to feel like a winner every year (and not set another goal that you’ve already failed for like the last 4 years)

Yes…I know….if you’re thinking…’errm Vindya…….isn’t it a little too late to talk about New Year’s Resolution Setting?’

Well….I would rather talk about it now, when everyone is sober, back from excessive eating, drinking and partying (not forgetting the family drama), than when you are hungover and having a food baby.

So…..if you have already set some New Year’s Resolutions for 2019, fantastic!

This would be a great time to reflect back on them and validate that they are still great goals you want to work towards in the year. And put some real steps in place to get there.

And…..if you still haven’t……now would be a great time to set them the right way 🙂

So…here are the 5 common mistakes I see people making all the time when they set goals for the New Year:

1.       Making silly goals you don’t actually care about

Most of the time when we make new year’s resolutions,  we’re not in our optimal metal state to make them. Like…..having a glass of wine in one hand and a party popper in the other while talking to a complete stranger about skydiving naked.

Most of the time we haven’t thought this through. Hence, we end up setting goals every year and we end up failing ourselves.

We hardly stop to evaluate our entire life, the legacy we want to leave, figuring out what’s really been stopping us, before we set another goal. That way you only set goals that actually matters.

2.       Getting addicted to failing

The funny thing that happens if you have a track record of not achieving what you set to achieve the last few times is that our subconscious goes into a pattern of failure.

Because we failed the last few years, now secretly your subconscious believes that you’re not serious! You know what I’m talking about!

You know that when you say ‘I’m going to lose 10 kgs’, you secretly think ‘not gonna happen!’.

The only way to come out of this one is to set small goals that are not too ridiculous to achieve and not too easy either, so you actually achieve them.

When this happens a couple of times, then you can go on to setting bigger and better goals and you’d still get them no matter how ridiculous they may sound. But start getting into the habit of winning first.

3.       Not Having a System to Succeed

A common mistake that’s made is setting a goal and just assuming it’s going to happen. (law of attraction…. right?) Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

Example, if you want to fit into a smaller dress size, thinking that you’re going to eat healthy and exercise wouldn’t cut it. The best thing to do is to set-up a system for you to achieve it.

E.g. how much do you really wanna go down, what exact exercises would get you to the shape you want, what food types works best for your body type and lastly, how many times exactly should you go to the gym (or swim, jog or whatever else you do), how many cheat meals can you have, what days would be the exercise days, what time of the day, etc,

So that on a day to day basis, the only thing you need to do worry about is sticking to the gym day, sticking to the cheat meal day, sticking to the 3 times/week cardio days and without even realising it, you’ve gone down a couple of sizes already.

But make it a system that works for you and just focus on following the tiny steps in it.

4.       Your environment can work for you or against you

Having visual queues to make you succeed is as important as setting the system. This is where things like vision boards come into play.

Having a picture of a dress you would like to wear or photos of the exact hotel room you’d like to go on holiday for, a photo of the exact model of the car you want to buy helps your subconscious keep things real.

While this may seem silly, visual queues play a big part of everything we achieve in general. I’ve done a detailed post on this earlier. Having a supportive environment is crucial to your success.

E.g. coming from a family where everyone overeats increases the chances of being unhealthy and unfit. On the other hand, having a partner who’s a gym junkie, always helps you stay in the game for longer.

This may require you to either make changes to your current environment or even abandon the current one entirely and more into a new one.

So make sure you have your environment working for you and not against you.

5.       Overestimating Your Motivation

Motivation to get to any goal is great. But motivation by itself would not get you anywhere. It will only get you so far.

This is where you need to adjust all your habits/lifestyle and when you do something for at least 30 days, you have a better chance of achieving your goal even at times that you don’t feel very motivated.

Let’s be honest, even a gym junkie has days that they ‘don’t feel like’ going to the gym. Even a workaholic has days that they ‘don’t feel like’ going to work.

But you do it, out of habit and because it’s about WHO YOU ARE as a person. So redefine who you are with related to the goal and nothing will be able to stop you.

6.       Taking Celebrations for Granted

This is such a simple concept that we overlook all the time. But celebrating small wins is a way we can give a pat on the back and have something we can look forward to along the way rather than wait for 365 days to celebrate our big goal. So why not, set some small milestones that you can look forward to?

Like go to your favourite junk food restaurant when you stick to the system for 3 months, go for a massage when you stick to doing a video a day for 1 month, or whatever that makes you happy. This way, you always have something to look forward to and celebrate and give that extra boost of confidence and motivation.

Bonus Tip: Be aware of goals that are a means to an end. As these kinds of goals could get you into a lot of trouble in the long run if you’re not aware of them.

————–
There it is. Alright…I know I said 5, but I couldn’t help writing the 6th.

That is all for now. There’s so much more I can talk about goal setting, but I think this gives you a good start for now without overwhelming too much.

Remember, start small and get into the habit of winning and in no time you would be winning every time.

(Know anyone who’s struggeling to keep up with their life goals? Please share this post. It’s free and damn good :))

XO,  💖💖
V.
P.S. If your one thing is to be coached by me – in a community of talented high performers – then Click Here.

Are You A Mover & Shaker Or Are You Just A Talker?

Answer this question honestly: Are you a mover & shaker or are you just a talker?

I talk to lots of people on a regular basis. Every one of them wants to achieve something amazing. Start a business. Become a consultant. Earn more money. Do work they love AND get paid. Most of the time, it’s all talk.

Whatever their goal is, I invariably ask the question “How many people have you talked to this week that can help you get your goal?” Let alone this last year…

Here’s some of the answers I get:
Ahh, well none.
I just haven’t gotten around to it.
Or the worst one…
Well, I’ve been reading this book that’s going to show me how to get it.

Curiously, I then ask a few more questions:

How many people did you message on Facebook?
How many catch ups did you schedule?
How many coffees did you grab?
How much time did you spend scrolling through social media or watching Netflix?

If the answers to those questions are greater than the first (especially by a lot), we’ve got a problem.

Many people talk a big game, but when it comes to taking the necessary action to achieve their goals, something always comes up. They’re talkers. They’re interested in success, but not committed. There’s a BIG difference.

Take my client Sarah. When I started working with Sarah, she came to me with a big dream. She already knew exactly what she wanted to do. Her goal was to start her own consulting business, securing 6 figure government contracts and servicing A-players. Sarah was excited, enthusiastic and even though she was quite experienced in the public sector, she was overwhelmed with everything she THOUGHT she needed to do.

So I asked her, who are the people that would know EXACTLY what to do? She told me the names of a number of executives. A-players. Industry heavyweights. The kind of executives that make people sweat just walking into their office.

I said great! Now go talk to them.

“What!?”

Go talk to them.

“Vindya… I can’t just go ta…”

Go talk to them!

I could tell she was intimidated. The very moment I told her to go talk to them, her mind said NO WAY. She decided she couldn’t. She gave me every excuse in the book.

“No one will speak to me…. I’m nobody compared to these people.”

But I ONLY work with movers & shakers. And despite her excuses, Sarah IS a mover & shaker. That was one of the many reasons I took her on as a client. So I set her a challenge…

Send out 100 messages to 100 executives, asking for a quick chat.

I’d thrown her overboard, in stormy seas and told her to find her way back to shore. I was there in the lifeboat keeping a close eye on her, but in the rough water was exactly where she needed to be and a task she needed to do.

You don’t grow by reading books or by doing another course. You grow by getting out there, jumping into stormy seas (metaphorically) and doing what’s necessary. I knew she could do it. And it’s my job to get her to do the things she doesn’t want to do, in order for her to have the life she doesn’t already have.

So after sitting on my challenge for a week, she finally started sending messages. And even though she thought it was going to be a complete disaster, surprisingly (to her), the complete opposite occurred…

These executives, these A-players, these industry heavyweights that she thought were untouchable and unreachable, some of them actually said yes to talking with her. A number of them were HAPPY she reached out to them! All because she ASKED.

And after the first few nervous interviews, she calmed down and actually started enjoying herself. Acting like a total Pro. Did she know what was going to happen before sending those messages? No, all she had to do was send the messages. And THEN take the next step. Something Sarah thought was impossible, was now EASY.

See, It’s not about knowing every single step of the plan and in what order to take. It’s about taking THIS step. The first step. And you think about the next step when you get to it. Even the best business plans are made up.

So, the results? From those 100 messages, 79 either said no or didn’t get back to her. 21 said yes. 21! And because of that, she received a serious advantage, insider information and knew EXACTLY what to do next with her business.

Now, a question for you…

Are you ready to be a mover & shaker? Do you have a big dream you want to accomplish, one that looks impossible? A dream everyone else says you’ll never achieve, but deep down, on some level, you know it’s exactly what you were meant for. If so, you need to become the person capable of achieving your goals and dreams, taking things to the next level and crushing your old standards.

People don’t just ‘talk’ about their goals and dreams and achieve them. They transform themselves into a mover & shaker and they are PROPELLED to their goals and dreams, creating an exponential life.

Is it hard? Yes.
Is it going to suck at times? Probably.
Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Truth is, if you don’t transform yourself into a mover & shaker and go after your dreams, you’re really only lying to yourself. And in 5.. 10.. 20 years time, you’ll wake up from your dream wishing you had the courage to start.

However, if you’re ready to become a mover & shaker and take the first step… I have good news!

Hi my name is Vindya Vee and I’m a High-Performance Coach who works with industry Heavyweights, A-Players and Movers & Shakers.

I’m opening my doors for a strictly limited time and offering a 90-minute coaching session to 3 extraordinary women who dream of creating an empowering, EXPONENTIAL life. The best part, it’s free!

Here’s what you’ll discover:

How to plan, execute and achieve ALL your goals and dreams
The mindset of movers & shakers, high level executives and industry heavyweights
How to create an exponential life, faster than you ever thought possible!

This free strategy session has helped more than 51 women make their quantum leap just in the last 6 months alone and has the power and potential to do the same for you.

Click here to apply

It’s a new world out there today and I can give you the tools to make your quantum leap and have the same advantage as A-Players, industry heavyweights and Movers & Shakers – however – if you do nothing, please remember, in 5 years’ time when you’re exactly where you are today, playing a smaller game and beating yourself up for it, that I did warn you.

WARNING: Before you apply for your free strategy session you must understand that this is NOT for everyone. This is not for ‘talkers’, people just ‘interested’ in achieving their goals and dreams and people who don’t want to do anything. If that’s the case go renew your Netflix subscription instead.

However, if you know what you want to achieve, you’re COMMITTED to pursuing your dreams, and you’re ready to become a Mover & Shaker, then apply for your FREE strategy session now. By the way, I recommend you apply quickly, I only have a limited amount of spots available each month and they always fill up fast.

To your success,

– V

Click here to Apply

Are You ‘Getting Ready’ To Pull The Trigger?

pointing-hand

Are you ‘getting ready’ to pull the trigger?

One thing that fascinates me is all the ‘things’ people create that delays taking the the first step. Example: Someone wants to create a new product or service for their business, then they do everything BUT create a new product or service for their business.

You create all these ‘things’ to not do the one thing you actually want to.

You check your emails (for the 100th time).
You schedule weekend and weekday catch ups.
You check social media (I can hear some of you say…..’it’s for business!’).
You change the title of a blog post from size 14 to 16.
You relax, watch Netflix and say you’ve earned it.

This is called procrastination. It’s a learned strategy. Created from your behaviour and turned into a habit. And just like any habit, you can override it and learn a new one.

Just a few days ago, in the middle of a powerful conversation with one of my amazing clients, I came across this exact scenario I see time and time again. He was ‘getting ready’. And he’d been getting ready for over 6 months, making his product perfect. He wanted to get it just right.

But if you look under the surface, the real reasons are obvious:

The fear your ideas will not be liked by anyone.
The fear you’ll be judged and laughed at for your ideas.
(and if the above two are true) The fear you’re not good enough.

And guess what? All great creators, business owners and high performers go through this. The immense emotional and mental roller coaster takes over. And as a result, we become control freaks, perfectionists and procrastinators. We start making excuses, sit on the fence and think about pulling the trigger.

Some people NEVER launch, regardless of how great their product or service is. That’s why the graveyard is the richest place on earth, but I’ll get to that soon.

I know great people sitting on amazing ideas and products that would change people’s lives, bringing them so much joy. But the fears keep them stuck in place, like a deer in headlights.

Does this sound familiar? If so, here’s an analogy that will straighten things up:

You have a jug full of water…
and in the distant you see a group of people completely dehydrated…
They can barely move.
There’s no one else to help them…
But YOU have a jug… of water!
And you know you can help them!
You get excited!…
But then, what do you do?
You think….
’Do I look ok?…’
‘Am I good enough to be offering this water to them?’…
‘Would they like me for offering them water?’…
‘What if they laugh?’
‘Maybe I should draw a flower on it so that it looks cool!’…

And while you think all of this to yourself… guess what? They’ve all met their end! Yep.

And you didn’t even get the chance to offer them the water. Why? Because you were too busy doubting yourself. Sitting on the fence. Creating ‘things’ to do.

Here’s the kicker:

It’s not about you. It was always about them!

It’s not about how you look on camera. It’s about what you can do for them!

It’s not about how you sound. It’s about what results you can get for them!

It’s about how your ideas, products or service that can change their life!

And this is why the graveyard is the richest place on Earth. In the graveyard you’ll find all the ideas, all the products and all the services that were never created.

All the paintings that were never painted.
All the inventions that were never created.
All the businesses ideas that were never launched.

All because someone was too busy sitting on the fence, making excuses to not pull the trigger.

Now… A question for you…?

Have you had enough of sitting on the fence? Have you had enough of creating ‘things’ to do, procrastinating and ‘getting ready’ to pull the trigger? Are you ready to take your business to the next level, create a new product or a new service AND create the life deep down you know you want?

If you are, you’ll need to change your internal strategies, behaviours and habits. Because your current ones have kept you stuck in place. No doubt they got you to where you are today, but I promise you, they will not take you to where you crave to be….

You need new strategies, new behaviours and new habits to become the person who is capable of launching new ideas, taking things to the next level, creating a new product or pitching an idea (and look the unknown dead in the eye and know that no matter what…you will win).

People don’t stay as they are and just create an Empowering, EXPONENTIAL Life… They change their strategies, behaviours and habits which propels them to an Exciting, Extraordinary Life.

Does it work? Yes.

Is it hard? Yes.

Is it worth it? 100%.

The truth is, if you don’t pull the trigger you’ll never know how much you could achieve with your life.

If you don’t change your strategies, behaviours and habits now, all your ideas, all your hopes and all your dreams will end up in the graveyard. All because you couldn’t take the first step.

Turn your ideas and dreams into reality. Take the first step. Pull the trigger.

Cheering for ya.

– V

🤫 The Secret To Building A Team That Would Decimate The Competition 🤫

team

You might think that hiring the best talent is hard. Keeping the best talent is harder.

For many years I personally have built my own high performing teams and coached leaders to build their own and it takes more than knowing the “leadership styles” to do that.

A lot of business owners and leaders I talk to have issues with talent retention. It’s one of the things that cost a business the most, given how much money, time and energy is spent on acquiring, training, managing and compensating.

💡A leader is as good as the team he/she leads. 💡

Recently, I was listening to Jeff Hoffman (founder of Priceline, Black Sky Entertainment & ColorJar, just to name a few) and he said something that was so profound, something I’ve been doing for years that made my teams the best.

On the day Priceline was sold, Jeff realised that not one person in the company had ever quit. Since this sounded crazy, Jeff asked some of his employees why they never leave, which is unheard of!

🤫So…what’s the secret? 🤫

99.9% of companies hire employees, after reviewing the resume, having an interview, explaining the values of the company, job description, etc and if the person can do the job, we give them money.

So that we can use that person, for his/her skills, to work and work and work so we can to get our goals, KPIs, our dreams, the beach house, the boat, (you name it). It’s always about the us, the employer.

Now I can hear some of you going “Well….isn’t that a great deal?? Besides, we also provide a great working space, ‘flexible working arrangements’ and pilates classes (or something along those lines).”

Nope! Because if it was, you wouldn’t have so much churn & have issues with great people leaving you.

Care about their dreams and they’ll care about yours. 

Let’s be honest, no employee cares about the KPIs, performance reviews, yearly goals, think tanks, and especially not your dreams.

It sounds selfish, but that’s the truth. What they DO care about are their dreams and goals in life and feeling fulfilled. It’s human nature.

💡And money is only a small part of it.

Some of the highest performing companies I’ve seen offer no bonuses, extra benefits or great working spaces.

But what they do offer is the leadership team putting a little more thought and effort into understanding what makes their employees get out of bed and come to work.

What makes them tick, what dreams they have and when they get them, they are forever in debt to you.

This is the gold for any manager.

And anyone who refuses to understand this is going to have a hard time keeping great talent.

💬💬‘Hire the best talent, build a team with them, get out of their way to do their job and treat them with compassion and respect’ – Jeff Hoffman

Create a culture where every manager cares about their team and know the individuals at a human level and you will start seeing miracles.

💡 Get to know them as human beings who have a life beyond work and they’ll show they care, beyond what you pay them.

For those of you who think ‘I wish things were simpler and I wish my people would just listen to me when I command just because I say so!’…

Well….tough luck!
.
This is no longer the industrial age where you can measure performance based on the number of items they produced. This is the age where a leader with the best high performing, creative talent wins the race.

The difference between you and your competitor is that they have and they know how to keep the talent that will take them into the next century, while you complain and make excuses as to why the way things were done in the last century shouldn’t change.

So by all means, if you want to stay a dinosourus and become extinct, keep doing what you’ve been doing till now and don’t expect any miracles to happen.

🎖️🎖️You people are your competitive edge.
It’s no longer about employees who work the longest hours (hard work vs unproductive work), how fast they work, how many hours their bum is on the seat or who’s ready to nod their head when you want them to.

🏆🏆 But it’s about the stars who would get you the competitive edge you need to have, to thrive in this changing landscape of business.

🔊 To listen to the fascinating story about Jeff and how he leads and the amazing things he’s accomplished, I highly encourage going and having a listen to this keynote.

Photo Credit :https://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7309674860

😱 What do you do when Fear paralyse you in front of a tough decision? 😱

This is a question I get asked from my clients all the time and I thought it would be beneficial to everybody if I did a post on it.

Let’s be honest, when you are in business for yourself, battling fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being judged (you name it!) are just a regular phenomenon. Sometimes you have trouble sleeping because of this.

As much as we would like to get rid of it, so that we can be well on our way to making them big goals a reality, it’s just not gonna happen. (sorry…did I disappoint ya there?)

So, at this stage we deal with this in one of two ways.
⚔️ Go into battle like a soldier are power through (this in my opinion works, but super hard to do and you have a terrible time doing it)
🤒 Curl up into a ball on the couch, go to sleep and pretend that this would go away by the time you wake up. (I personally have done this myself a couple of times and I know you have too 😊)

And neither of these are ideal and in the long run, they are going to burn you out. But what if instead, you have a way to battle it fast and effectively too. Instead of getting rid of it we trick it and work around it to get to where we want to get to.

WAIT…. WHAT? 
🔭UNDERTAND: The whole reason why any kind of fear comes to your mind is a protection mechanism that your subconscious has developed over thousands of years. Humans are naturally programmed to go into fight or flight mode as soon as we are presented with unfamiliar, foreign, unknown, uncomfortable situations.

The brain cannot differentiate between real danger (like a lion walking in front of you) and danger we’ve created in our mind.

🤯 🤯So, as a result of it, we react to EVERYTHING the same way. (I know! It’s shitty! But, that’s what we’ve gotta deal with) And this is your brain’s way of saying that something’s off and you’ve overlooked a potential threat.

Once you’ve understood and acknowledged the situation, the next part is all about putting your subconscious to rest by working through possible scenarios that could happen and how we are going to deal with them when they do.

🎆 So, here are the steps to follow that would make your life much easier moving forward. On a piece of paper write the following (handwriting helps)
[Keep in mind the decision/situation that you are fearful of]

 Check to see whether there is some real danger.
Well…..do you see a lion or a tiger around you? (If yes, RUN!!!, If no, just chill 🙏)
 What could be the worst-case scenarios? (write all of them)
 For each and every worse-case Scenario, what can I do to prevent them from happening?
 For each and every worst-case Scenario, if it happens how can I recover from it?
 What might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?
 (divide the page into 3 columns) What will I miss out on if I do nothing?
a. In 6 months
b. In 1 year
c. In 3 years
That’s it!

🎆When you write this down. You are sending a signal to your subconscious mind (the one that’s doing the worrying for us) that I understand what the fear is about, I acknowledge the situation and I’ve already got a plan in place. So just chill!

🎆Now every time after this, when the same fear comes up about that decision/situation, think back to the plan you wrote down. And immediately you’d feel calm.
If something is keeping you up at night, this would be a god-send. This has come to my rescue and my clients many times.

I hope this helps and feel free to let me know if you have any questions.
Comment or PM with any questions or would like to know more…

Now…go break a leg!!! 🎆🎆🎆

💌 -With all my love- 💌

V.

The Fastest Way to Living A Fulfilled Life

Hi!

I'm Vindya.

You know that you are meant to be doing something much bigger than you do now. You are even scared to say it out loud because no one would understand. Well, bring in your biggest dreams and your biggest fears and I will help you get there faster than you ever thought possible.

A few years ago, before starting the journey I’m on right now, I once had a good-paying corporate job, smashing goal after goal and going up the ranks like there’s no tomorrow. People around me said that I would go places. And that, I did.

But not in the way others had predicted.

One day I woke up and asked myself “Is this It? Is this really all there to it?”. I was great at what I did (so I was told) but I struggled to see myself doing it for the rest of my life. Something was missing. But at the time, I couldn’t tell what it was.

However, now that I know better, it dawned on me that the word I was looking for back then was “Fulfilment.” 

How Can Something So Important As Fulfilment Get Past Me?

Fulfillment, a feeling so strange yet so important. Something we strive to find but still ironically neglected because we are too busy being busy.

Some of you may beg to differ, constantly denying the sense of dissatisfaction you feel with your current job or life by saying things like “it doesn’t just put food on the table and besides, I’m good at it ” or “I’m lucky to even have a decent job, others wear their bodies out earning scraps.” While I empathize with your sentiments, having thought the same things when I was in your shoes, have you ever thought that there might be something else that you’d be even greater at, that would make the IMPACT that you’d always wanted to make in the world, earns the same amount of money and feel fulfilled at the same time?

Let me tickle your brain a little. Say, you’ve finally had a great weekend off work – no overtime, no extra shifts. You used it to spend time with the family, taking a trip to the beach, going shopping, and whatever else you thought would be nice to do. But then, Sunday evening arrives.

What feeling do you get when you think of going to work the next morning? Do you feel excited and think “OMG. I can’t wait till tomorrow!” Or, do you feel drained of energy, that catching a bug, getting the mumps, or any other kind of painful, pathetic reason would be much, much better if it would mean extending your weekend for another day. If you’re like me, who falls perfectly in the second category, then you’ve got a serious case of what I call The Monday Sickness.

What Causes Monday Sickness & Why It’s A Sign of Your Life Ending

Monday sickness; oh, what a dreadful affliction! I did not like it and I bet that right now, your feelings resonate with mine. Just when you finally think Monday’s about to end, your hopes of Tuesday getting any better gets crushed, the moment you wake up with the same feeling of dread eating away at you. That’s when you come to realize that it isn’t just Monday or Tuesday that makes you feel like that. The same feeling burdens you on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Let’s just say you feel it every day of every week, every year, till the day you die (or a few years before that)! Talk about something that lasts a lifetime!

I realized this at a much later time before it was too late, that I was pushing this dreadful feeling into the back of my mind until I was a master at it.

So, if you ask me what had caused it – the answer is simple.

I WAS NOT FULFILLED.

I grinded for 40 hours (sometimes more) every week in order to enjoy the two days off I have during the weekend. I worked 48 weeks per year so that I get to do stuff that I really love for 4 weeks. I was sacrificing 92% of my time – my life – just to live a little bit better with what little time I had left to do things I REALLY valued most.

But then, I stopped. I realized that no one or no-thing ever had power over me. Even if I jumped on a train to find my destiny in Norway, no one will stop me. And no one can – even if they tried. It was time to let go of my fears. I was the master of my fate and only I knew how to live my life. So I started to ask myself these questions:

  • Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life?

My answer was NO.

  • Will I ever find fulfillment in what I currently do?

It’s possible but highly improbable.

  • How do I flip the coin? How do I turn the tables?

 I already knew the answer.

  • Am I ready to have fun 48 weeks a year and feel like I’m only working for 4?

You bet I am.

 

And it changed my life forever. You can probably guess the insane cascade of events that came after. I can place a good bet people had called me crazy, stupid, or even mentally retarded at some point. And I can’t blame them. Looking back now, what I did back then was downright ridiculous. I quit a well paid job, relinquished what authority I’ve built over the years, and went on a journey to find myself. You must be thinking, “No way! I thought that only happened in movies!” But, it really did happened to me. You’d be surprised at the strength of your own conviction.

I can tell you about what I did, how I did it, and what lessons I learned from that journey but I’m afraid one article cannot contain the richness of the experiences I’ve had – so let’s save it for another day. All I can say is that everything worked out exactly as I hoped for (with a few bumps on the road of course). And now I’m having more fun than I ever could’ve imagined. I found exactly what fulfilled my life and it made me all the more merrier and richer.

Now, I’m on a mission. A mission to find people who were once like me. Caged in, trapped, and empty. I made it my life’s advocacy to share my story hoping that the right ears get to hear my message.

Along my journey, I came across a book written by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients and kept them company on the last 12 weeks of their lives. She would often ask her patients about their lives’ biggest regrets. If there’s anything at all they would like to redo, given the chance. Bronnie talked about the phenomenal clarity of vision people would gain at the end of their lives. It’s all in the book – along with other common themes she observed in the course of their conversations.

The first thought that came to my mind as I unravelled the contents of the book was why people keep realizing things too late. I mean, why do I have to wait until I’m lying on my death bed to realize what I actually wanted to do with my life? When by that time, there’s hardly anything I can do about it anymore?

Why don’t I ask life’s most important questions now?

If you died tomorrow, which one of these regrets do you think you’d have?

  1. I wish I’ve had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so much.
  3. I wish I’ve had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish I gave more value to my family
  6. I wish I worked for something I find purpose in.
  7. I wish I asserted myself better.
  8. I wish I didn’t let public opinion get the best of me.
  9. I wish I lived more carefree
  10. I wish I had let myself be happier.

A part of what I do today is working with highly successful individuals who know that right now, they are nowhere near where they should be – people who know that they are meant for something much greater than what they have already achieved. They believe that in order to break through barriers, they have to play a much bigger game.

YOU are one of these special people.

And my role is to create a strategy that gets you to the other side of that barrier – faster than you ever thought possible. By combining what you think you want in life with what truly fulfils you, great change happens.

By taking away the things that hinder you from truly actualizing the person you are destined to be, you become unstoppable. And that’s when true magic happens.

After all, this isn’t about me. I’ve already found a good story to tell.

This is all going to be about you and others like you. Living a life more cruel than dying – a life of regret. Now, do you desire to keep living on like that?

It’s your call.



Now, I would love to hear from you:

What is one insight that changed everything for you from this article?

And what is one tiny action you are going to take as a result of that insight?

Use the comment box down below and share as much detail as possible in your reply as your story may help someone else have an even greater insight.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here.

Sincerely,

XOXO

 

V.

5 Fatal Mistakes You Must Avoid on The Route to A Successful and Fulfilling Career

Hi!

I'm Vindya.

You know that you are meant to be doing something much bigger than you do now. You are even scared to say it out loud because no one would understand. Well, bring in your biggest dreams and your biggest fears and I will help you get there faster than you ever thought possible.

Recent research by Pew Research Center revealed 48% of women working in a male dominated STEM environment say ‘their gender has made it harder for them to succeed in their job.’ Being a woman also made it more difficult to secure a promotion. Fortune notes only 6.4% of Fortune 500 companies have a woman at the helm. With International

Women’s Day just passing by (March 8th), it’s timely to discuss how women can smash through the glass ceiling on route to a successful and fulfilling career at the top.

As much as I could write for days about the faux pas of forgetting your roots, not updating your skills, not setting clearly defined goals, clambering over others in an ambitious ploy to get ahead… and how these can be detrimental to achieving a successful, fulfilling career, I want to delve deeper, right down to those challenges not many people talk about.

You know, the ones that matter.

And when you throw ‘fulfilment’ into the mix… Well, many forget to consider life satisfaction early in their career, with the resultant later regret.

After six years in the corporate management realm and three as a high-performance coach, I’ve discovered there are some common threads, some familiar mistakes, that hold women back from achieving their impossible and a life they love.

What are they? I’m glad you asked!

1. Being Comfortable in the Grey Zone

It’s common to become so darn good and praised for something, that you settle right down into that comfortable space. This is a mistake many highly talented women make. When you perform at a significantly higher level than those around you and are constantly looked up to as the expert — the companies veritable bees knees — the push from your team can drop away. Those who can move you forward may be off leading other teams not beside you, egging you forward. When you are a high performer, this adulation can be addictive, although not constructive.
The higher up the ladder you climb, whether in your own business or another’s, the less constructive criticism is on offer. Those below you don’t want to risk retaliation, those above you are contented… After all, your work is at a high standard. Little do they know what you might be able to achieve, if you’re brutally honest with yourself.

While you may be an elite performer, ticking off targets and growing a good team, compared to playing at your full capacity, you’re treading water. In the long run, this will cause you to underperform.
So, what can you do about it?

The moment you realise what you do is no longer significantly challenging; the point at which you recognise you achieve set tasks efficiently leaving ample time to twiddle your thumbs, bored and under challenged, it is time to chase that next challenge and push your boundaries further. As they say, if you’re not growing you’re dying. It’s time to move forward and create a new legacy.

 

2. Your Mentor - The Be All and End All?

What is more damaging than not having a support network? Having the wrong kind of support.

While you know you are meant for something greater than your current position, your company may not realise… or even have the know-how to enable you to achieve it.

It is at this point many smart people seek out a mentor.

Sensible strategy!

However, there’s a catch. A mentor can only help you with something that s/he has done. They can only show you what they have achieved, given the circumstances they were working in. So, if you are reaching for a goal that somebody else has attained, this might be the best move. They can illuminate the best path forward for you, and support you as you progress.

But if you are one of the rare creatures, with an entrepreneurial heart and spark, who dream of following the path less travelled… even a path not yet created… this could either slow you down or jam you abruptly and unhappily on the wrong path. You need to find a high performance coach who will support you in chasing the unthinkable and encourage, guide and focus you on the best way to achieve the impossible.

If you wanna play a much bigger game, you need the right support network around you to challenge you, help you discover the secrets to break through previously unbroken barriers and do it (kind of) comfortably in your own skin.

This will determine how far you go.

 

3. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

The mindset harnessed, strategies followed, tactics used and people followed to get you here simply won’t get you there.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”
– Albert Einstein

Ok, so where you are now isn’t a problem per se, but Albert’s words clarify a truth. You are here because of your current thinking. To change, to achieve more, to explode from your current cocoon in a vivid array of accomplished colours, you need to grow and alter your mindset further.

As most would understand, you need a new set of skills to achieve something bigger, better and more fulfilling. But that’s where a lot of people stop.

And this will lead to a profound, potentially painful downfall.

Most of the time, in my experience, skill (or the ‘how to’) is the last element lacking. If you are chasing your next big thing and, after trying for a while you’re still not there, it’s because you haven’t quite achieved the right mindset. To explain in the simplest terms, the mindset you require at an employee level is completely different to being your own boss. An employee mindset in a business owners body is a sure fire way to failure.

This may sound like a fluffy topic, although the world of neuroplasticity and brain science shows it isn’t. And this single reason could explain why you haven’t got to where you want to, yet.
The incredible thing is, I’ve seen a two-second insight transform an entire outlook. This is how some elite-performing people have changed the world, sometimes overnight.
So, a crucial question to ask yourself honestly is, what beliefs do you hold that are getting in the way?

 

4. Ignoring Values That Stab You In The Back

Whether the desire is a new role, a pay rise or a specific client on the books, everything we do as humans is driven by deep rooted values. Most of the time these values are hidden, laying under the cover of subconsciousness, peddling the wheels that move the cogs of our actions. We cannot not see them when we look from above.

If you are not aware of these values, conflict will invariably arise. If I asked you now what values you hold, the chances that you would really know the deep-down true values that pedal those cogs are very slim.
Confronting? Yes! You might even be filled by a flurry of thoughts shouting, ‘She doesn’t know what she’s talking about?’ That’s ok too. Stick with me…

Let’s explore the true story of one of my past clients.

She was consciously driven to become incredibly successful in her field. She’d watched her family struggle financially when growing up, and didn’t want that for her own. Yet when she was a child, her parents often commented that, ‘successful people take advantage!’ In her case, she couldn’t permanently reach further than a certain level. Higher level success came, and with it, sufficient self-sabotage to pull her back down to where her hidden values thought she should be.
Gay Hendricks also talks about this in his book, The Big Leap.

It’s not uncommon.
The solution?

Firstly, understand your highest values before working you way up the ladder; the sooner the better. That way, you will enjoy your successes, have an easier path, and both get the very best from, and become your very best self.

Secondly, make sure you are acutely aware of any conflicting, competing values. Work on these before they do real, irrevocable harm.

Thirdly, if these values have been undermining your efforts and subverting your success, now is the time to deal with them.

 

5. Assuming It's A Straight Line

Accept and embrace the convoluted path to higher level success. See in the earlier days, there was less to lose. Less pay, pride, and position. As you rose to lofty ranks, the way down now appears perilous, full of dangers and deadly depths. So you take less risks in order to remain on top of your perch. However, it was the risks that previously reaped each new reward.

The bar for success is often higher each time you take on a new role or start a fresh project. This provides the opportunity to grow and develop, to craft a new and invigorated, expansive mindset.

It also offers the chance to settle right down into that comfortable space we talked about earlier, and pass the work, responsibility and blame onto others. This is a mistake common in the highly talented fraternity.

Failure to step out onto the ledge and take educated risks results in lost opportunities, or even worse, not realising your full potential.

And remember, whatever you did to get here will not get you there, especially when you crave greater things.
The solution?

Fall in love with the process. As with anything new, you sometimes have to suck for a while before competence kicks in. A step back may be needed to take 10 steps forward and leave an even greater legacy.

 



Now, I would love to hear from you:

What is one insight that changed everything for you from this article?

And what is one tiny action you are going to take as a result of that insight?

Use the comment box down below and share as much detail as possible in your reply as your story may help someone else have an even greater insight.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here.

Sincerely,

XOXO

 

V.