Category

Mistakes

Why You Never Achieve the Things on Your Vision Board…(and what to do about it!)

So…you’ve been thinking about doing a vision board but never got around to it!

Or….you’ve had one for some time but still there’s a lot of stuff that’s been there for quite a while, but never realised!

Maybe you’re not even sure whether it would be possible to get everything you want in life, because it looks so far away from where you are.

After a few conversations with a number of my clients, I thought I’d set the record straight!

Vision boards are NOT a board with pretty pictures of sceneries, blue skies and beaches to look at. If you want to do it right and actually achieve the things on your vision board, there’s certain do’s and don’t that apply.

So, let me start with a vision board that I picked randomly to take as examples of WHAT NOT TO DO when you create a vision board.

The universe around you is very creative & powerful and it can make anything happen for you. Now…although the universe is very powerful….It cannot read your mind and the only thing it has to go on making your vision a reality is what you put down on the board.

So…let me read this board as the universe would….

0. She wants go on camping

  1. She want a bottle of wine and 2 full glasses
  2. She wants a guitar (or go for guitar lessons?)
  3. She wants play with a bunch of balloons
  4. She would like to have a bowl of fruit
  5. She wants to have a window like that, wood floors and white benchtop
  6. Some words that she likes (not sure what to do with that)
  7. She wants to stay in a hotel with a pool like that (in Bali?)
  8. She wants a bicycle
    You get my point…..!

But my feeling is that the person who created this board just wanted to have fun, enjoy, relax and have more holidays. But unfortunately, the universe read the vision board as it is. Literally!

At the moment it’s so confusing, the universe just gives up and forget about it. And that’s when the things on your board never come true.

So without taking any more time…here are tips to creating a great vision board that would actually get you to your vision without a fail.

1. Set-up only for the next 12 months
It feels great when we put up so many great photos of blue skies, holidays, babies, weddings, lamborghinis, etc. The chances that you would get all of them is not very little. And what happens as a result of putting things that looks soo…big, overwhelming and decades out into the future, is that everytime you look at it….it’s because something that’s merely a dream and nothing else. And every year when you look at them…you subconsciously don’t believe that you can get it. Because you’ve gotten to the habit of just dreaming about it.

Tip: Have only the things you want to achieve (holidays, buying a new dress, getting married, buying the next car,etc) on the board.

2. Have things that inspire you on a seperate board
A lot of the time we mix up inspiration with our mission. For an example, if there are words (like on the board above), quotes, celebrities that when you look at them that inspires you, remove them from the vision board and have them on a different wall/board.

The only time you’d have a celebrity (or a person you look up to) on the vision board is when you have real plans to go and meet that person within the coming 12 months. Otherwise, they have nothing to do with your vision board.

3. Be as real as you can
Make sure that everything you put up there is as close as it can get to what you truly want. For an example, if you want to go on a holiday…research the exact hotel you want to stay at, the places you want to visit and have photos of those EXACT places/hotel room.

If it’s a car you want to buy, have a photo of the exact model/color of the car you would like to have. The more specific the better. If you’ve always wanted to write a book, design a simple book cover with your name on it and put it on a shelf of a bookstore photo.

So now you can see why a photo of a random hotel with a pool wouldn’t make sense to the universe.

——————–

Pro Tip: make sure you have few quick small wins that you can have in a couple of months time. Then when you achieve them, the universe knows that you are serious about achieving the rest of them, because you’ve already done it a couple of times. Make winning a habit!

Do you see how this is very different to having a board that you would feel depressed when you look at them day in day out?

So…what do you have on your board that might be too difficult for the Universe to read?

Love,

V.

P.S. If you are a couple, get your partner to do it with you. They will love you for it. While this can be so much fun, this also becomes crucial in creating your life together. The only difference will be that there will be some stuff on the board that will be relevant individually as well as together.

Never Fail a New Year Resolution Ever Again…?

In this post I wanted to talk about New Year Resolutions …as I would love for you to feel like a winner every year (and not set another goal that you’ve already failed for like the last 4 years)

Yes…I know….if you’re thinking…’errm Vindya…….isn’t it a little too late to talk about New Year’s Resolution Setting?’

Well….I would rather talk about it now, when everyone is sober, back from excessive eating, drinking and partying (not forgetting the family drama), than when you are hungover and having a food baby.

So…..if you have already set some New Year’s Resolutions for 2019, fantastic!

This would be a great time to reflect back on them and validate that they are still great goals you want to work towards in the year. And put some real steps in place to get there.

And…..if you still haven’t……now would be a great time to set them the right way 🙂

So…here are the 5 common mistakes I see people making all the time when they set goals for the New Year:

1.       Making silly goals you don’t actually care about

Most of the time when we make new year’s resolutions,  we’re not in our optimal metal state to make them. Like…..having a glass of wine in one hand and a party popper in the other while talking to a complete stranger about skydiving naked.

Most of the time we haven’t thought this through. Hence, we end up setting goals every year and we end up failing ourselves.

We hardly stop to evaluate our entire life, the legacy we want to leave, figuring out what’s really been stopping us, before we set another goal. That way you only set goals that actually matters.

2.       Getting addicted to failing

The funny thing that happens if you have a track record of not achieving what you set to achieve the last few times is that our subconscious goes into a pattern of failure.

Because we failed the last few years, now secretly your subconscious believes that you’re not serious! You know what I’m talking about!

You know that when you say ‘I’m going to lose 10 kgs’, you secretly think ‘not gonna happen!’.

The only way to come out of this one is to set small goals that are not too ridiculous to achieve and not too easy either, so you actually achieve them.

When this happens a couple of times, then you can go on to setting bigger and better goals and you’d still get them no matter how ridiculous they may sound. But start getting into the habit of winning first.

3.       Not Having a System to Succeed

A common mistake that’s made is setting a goal and just assuming it’s going to happen. (law of attraction…. right?) Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

Example, if you want to fit into a smaller dress size, thinking that you’re going to eat healthy and exercise wouldn’t cut it. The best thing to do is to set-up a system for you to achieve it.

E.g. how much do you really wanna go down, what exact exercises would get you to the shape you want, what food types works best for your body type and lastly, how many times exactly should you go to the gym (or swim, jog or whatever else you do), how many cheat meals can you have, what days would be the exercise days, what time of the day, etc,

So that on a day to day basis, the only thing you need to do worry about is sticking to the gym day, sticking to the cheat meal day, sticking to the 3 times/week cardio days and without even realising it, you’ve gone down a couple of sizes already.

But make it a system that works for you and just focus on following the tiny steps in it.

4.       Your environment can work for you or against you

Having visual queues to make you succeed is as important as setting the system. This is where things like vision boards come into play.

Having a picture of a dress you would like to wear or photos of the exact hotel room you’d like to go on holiday for, a photo of the exact model of the car you want to buy helps your subconscious keep things real.

While this may seem silly, visual queues play a big part of everything we achieve in general. I’ve done a detailed post on this earlier. Having a supportive environment is crucial to your success.

E.g. coming from a family where everyone overeats increases the chances of being unhealthy and unfit. On the other hand, having a partner who’s a gym junkie, always helps you stay in the game for longer.

This may require you to either make changes to your current environment or even abandon the current one entirely and more into a new one.

So make sure you have your environment working for you and not against you.

5.       Overestimating Your Motivation

Motivation to get to any goal is great. But motivation by itself would not get you anywhere. It will only get you so far.

This is where you need to adjust all your habits/lifestyle and when you do something for at least 30 days, you have a better chance of achieving your goal even at times that you don’t feel very motivated.

Let’s be honest, even a gym junkie has days that they ‘don’t feel like’ going to the gym. Even a workaholic has days that they ‘don’t feel like’ going to work.

But you do it, out of habit and because it’s about WHO YOU ARE as a person. So redefine who you are with related to the goal and nothing will be able to stop you.

6.       Taking Celebrations for Granted

This is such a simple concept that we overlook all the time. But celebrating small wins is a way we can give a pat on the back and have something we can look forward to along the way rather than wait for 365 days to celebrate our big goal. So why not, set some small milestones that you can look forward to?

Like go to your favourite junk food restaurant when you stick to the system for 3 months, go for a massage when you stick to doing a video a day for 1 month, or whatever that makes you happy. This way, you always have something to look forward to and celebrate and give that extra boost of confidence and motivation.

Bonus Tip: Be aware of goals that are a means to an end. As these kinds of goals could get you into a lot of trouble in the long run if you’re not aware of them.

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There it is. Alright…I know I said 5, but I couldn’t help writing the 6th.

That is all for now. There’s so much more I can talk about goal setting, but I think this gives you a good start for now without overwhelming too much.

Remember, start small and get into the habit of winning and in no time you would be winning every time.

(Know anyone who’s struggeling to keep up with their life goals? Please share this post. It’s free and damn good :))

XO,  💖💖
V.
P.S. If your one thing is to be coached by me – in a community of talented high performers – then Click Here.

5 Fatal Mistakes You Must Avoid on The Route to A Successful and Fulfilling Career

Hi!

I'm Vindya.

You know that you are meant to be doing something much bigger than you do now. You are even scared to say it out loud because no one would understand. Well, bring in your biggest dreams and your biggest fears and I will help you get there faster than you ever thought possible.

Recent research by Pew Research Center revealed 48% of women working in a male dominated STEM environment say ‘their gender has made it harder for them to succeed in their job.’ Being a woman also made it more difficult to secure a promotion. Fortune notes only 6.4% of Fortune 500 companies have a woman at the helm. With International

Women’s Day just passing by (March 8th), it’s timely to discuss how women can smash through the glass ceiling on route to a successful and fulfilling career at the top.

As much as I could write for days about the faux pas of forgetting your roots, not updating your skills, not setting clearly defined goals, clambering over others in an ambitious ploy to get ahead… and how these can be detrimental to achieving a successful, fulfilling career, I want to delve deeper, right down to those challenges not many people talk about.

You know, the ones that matter.

And when you throw ‘fulfilment’ into the mix… Well, many forget to consider life satisfaction early in their career, with the resultant later regret.

After six years in the corporate management realm and three as a high-performance coach, I’ve discovered there are some common threads, some familiar mistakes, that hold women back from achieving their impossible and a life they love.

What are they? I’m glad you asked!

1. Being Comfortable in the Grey Zone

It’s common to become so darn good and praised for something, that you settle right down into that comfortable space. This is a mistake many highly talented women make. When you perform at a significantly higher level than those around you and are constantly looked up to as the expert — the companies veritable bees knees — the push from your team can drop away. Those who can move you forward may be off leading other teams not beside you, egging you forward. When you are a high performer, this adulation can be addictive, although not constructive.
The higher up the ladder you climb, whether in your own business or another’s, the less constructive criticism is on offer. Those below you don’t want to risk retaliation, those above you are contented… After all, your work is at a high standard. Little do they know what you might be able to achieve, if you’re brutally honest with yourself.

While you may be an elite performer, ticking off targets and growing a good team, compared to playing at your full capacity, you’re treading water. In the long run, this will cause you to underperform.
So, what can you do about it?

The moment you realise what you do is no longer significantly challenging; the point at which you recognise you achieve set tasks efficiently leaving ample time to twiddle your thumbs, bored and under challenged, it is time to chase that next challenge and push your boundaries further. As they say, if you’re not growing you’re dying. It’s time to move forward and create a new legacy.

 

2. Your Mentor - The Be All and End All?

What is more damaging than not having a support network? Having the wrong kind of support.

While you know you are meant for something greater than your current position, your company may not realise… or even have the know-how to enable you to achieve it.

It is at this point many smart people seek out a mentor.

Sensible strategy!

However, there’s a catch. A mentor can only help you with something that s/he has done. They can only show you what they have achieved, given the circumstances they were working in. So, if you are reaching for a goal that somebody else has attained, this might be the best move. They can illuminate the best path forward for you, and support you as you progress.

But if you are one of the rare creatures, with an entrepreneurial heart and spark, who dream of following the path less travelled… even a path not yet created… this could either slow you down or jam you abruptly and unhappily on the wrong path. You need to find a high performance coach who will support you in chasing the unthinkable and encourage, guide and focus you on the best way to achieve the impossible.

If you wanna play a much bigger game, you need the right support network around you to challenge you, help you discover the secrets to break through previously unbroken barriers and do it (kind of) comfortably in your own skin.

This will determine how far you go.

 

3. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

The mindset harnessed, strategies followed, tactics used and people followed to get you here simply won’t get you there.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”
– Albert Einstein

Ok, so where you are now isn’t a problem per se, but Albert’s words clarify a truth. You are here because of your current thinking. To change, to achieve more, to explode from your current cocoon in a vivid array of accomplished colours, you need to grow and alter your mindset further.

As most would understand, you need a new set of skills to achieve something bigger, better and more fulfilling. But that’s where a lot of people stop.

And this will lead to a profound, potentially painful downfall.

Most of the time, in my experience, skill (or the ‘how to’) is the last element lacking. If you are chasing your next big thing and, after trying for a while you’re still not there, it’s because you haven’t quite achieved the right mindset. To explain in the simplest terms, the mindset you require at an employee level is completely different to being your own boss. An employee mindset in a business owners body is a sure fire way to failure.

This may sound like a fluffy topic, although the world of neuroplasticity and brain science shows it isn’t. And this single reason could explain why you haven’t got to where you want to, yet.
The incredible thing is, I’ve seen a two-second insight transform an entire outlook. This is how some elite-performing people have changed the world, sometimes overnight.
So, a crucial question to ask yourself honestly is, what beliefs do you hold that are getting in the way?

 

4. Ignoring Values That Stab You In The Back

Whether the desire is a new role, a pay rise or a specific client on the books, everything we do as humans is driven by deep rooted values. Most of the time these values are hidden, laying under the cover of subconsciousness, peddling the wheels that move the cogs of our actions. We cannot not see them when we look from above.

If you are not aware of these values, conflict will invariably arise. If I asked you now what values you hold, the chances that you would really know the deep-down true values that pedal those cogs are very slim.
Confronting? Yes! You might even be filled by a flurry of thoughts shouting, ‘She doesn’t know what she’s talking about?’ That’s ok too. Stick with me…

Let’s explore the true story of one of my past clients.

She was consciously driven to become incredibly successful in her field. She’d watched her family struggle financially when growing up, and didn’t want that for her own. Yet when she was a child, her parents often commented that, ‘successful people take advantage!’ In her case, she couldn’t permanently reach further than a certain level. Higher level success came, and with it, sufficient self-sabotage to pull her back down to where her hidden values thought she should be.
Gay Hendricks also talks about this in his book, The Big Leap.

It’s not uncommon.
The solution?

Firstly, understand your highest values before working you way up the ladder; the sooner the better. That way, you will enjoy your successes, have an easier path, and both get the very best from, and become your very best self.

Secondly, make sure you are acutely aware of any conflicting, competing values. Work on these before they do real, irrevocable harm.

Thirdly, if these values have been undermining your efforts and subverting your success, now is the time to deal with them.

 

5. Assuming It's A Straight Line

Accept and embrace the convoluted path to higher level success. See in the earlier days, there was less to lose. Less pay, pride, and position. As you rose to lofty ranks, the way down now appears perilous, full of dangers and deadly depths. So you take less risks in order to remain on top of your perch. However, it was the risks that previously reaped each new reward.

The bar for success is often higher each time you take on a new role or start a fresh project. This provides the opportunity to grow and develop, to craft a new and invigorated, expansive mindset.

It also offers the chance to settle right down into that comfortable space we talked about earlier, and pass the work, responsibility and blame onto others. This is a mistake common in the highly talented fraternity.

Failure to step out onto the ledge and take educated risks results in lost opportunities, or even worse, not realising your full potential.

And remember, whatever you did to get here will not get you there, especially when you crave greater things.
The solution?

Fall in love with the process. As with anything new, you sometimes have to suck for a while before competence kicks in. A step back may be needed to take 10 steps forward and leave an even greater legacy.

 



Now, I would love to hear from you:

What is one insight that changed everything for you from this article?

And what is one tiny action you are going to take as a result of that insight?

Use the comment box down below and share as much detail as possible in your reply as your story may help someone else have an even greater insight.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here.

Sincerely,

XOXO

 

V.