Category

Success

3 Signs to Indicate You’ve Forgotten You’re HUMAN



This is a different kind of a post to the ones I normally do, but I felt that it was time.

As a Coach, I speak with various types of people and every now and then, I recognize patterns in the challenges they face. And some of them are very human challenges that we treat them as different. So today….. I want to dedicate this post to speaking about some of those challenges so that if you face any of them, you’d have a different perspective of them

1. Stressing about being stuck

If you’ve never felt stuck in something….you’re one of the rare lucky ones. As for the majority of us….commonly we feel stuck in different situations and areas of life every now and then.

And when we do…it’s also common to stress about the fact that we’re stuck. Try to “figure it out”, sit on a therapy chair talking about it for years, meditate on it, sleep on it, lose sleep over it, etc.

But getting stuck every now and then is in our very human nature.

Think of a stick stuck while floating in a river. You might notice that it’s stayed stuck for probably a few hours or days even….but take a step back and you’d see things differently.

When you take a step back you’d see that all sticks will float for a bit….and then get stuck in a corner. Sometimes for minutes…sometimes for hours….sometimes for months. But eventually, it will get a slight nudge from somewhere and it will start to flow again. It would get stuck again…at a different spot…but eventually it will get unstuck and forget all about it.

And it does that hundreds of times…!

We humans are like that as well. Sometimes we’re in flow with life (and we’re happy about it because we’ve been told that, that’s the way to be) and then sometimes we get stuck and then we become unhappy about the fact we’re stuck and stress about it. Because we’ve been told that it’s bad to be stuck. That there’s something wrong with you for staying stuck that long!!!

When you take a few steps back from your life, you’ll realise that you’ve done this your entire life. First day at school, first crush, first heartbreak, uni drama, first job, first real relationship….and the list goes on.

The only thing you didn’t know about  is….how long you’d stay stuck, at what point you would get stuck again and how exactly you’d get unstuck (e.g. a new opportunity that came by, a person you met, conversation with a mentor/coach, a change in your external environment, etc).

But you just did!

Whenever you feel stuck with something...a bigger opportunity is unfolding in the background that’s not ready for you yet.

But because you’re so close to it, you just can’t see it. But when you look back after many years ….you’d realise why you were stuck at that exact point. What good came out of it as a result.

The moment you get stressed about the fact that you’re stuck…..remember it’s the human nature and you’d get unstuck at any moment as you’ve done many times throughout your life. So stop stressing about trying to “figure out” how to get unstuck!

If you ‘know how’ to do it, you would’ve already done it by now!

It’ll happen when it happens.

2. Expecting to Have THE Perfect Relationship with Kids

Have you ever met anyone who hadn’t had challenges with their parents at one stage or another?

Have you met parents who’ve never had challenges with their kids at one stage or another?

What makes you think that you can become a parent who never had any problems with your children? And there’s something wrong with you if you don’t?

This is a fantasy that a lot of parents have, to become the perfect parents who never had any problems with their kids, ever!

If I speak with your parents or whoever was looking after you growing up, you know what kind of a report card I would get about you, right?

Yet, they were doing exactly what you’re trying to do! Trying to do the best, to the best of their ability with what they had. So if your kids are going through a phase of being stubborn, hating you, rebellious & hurtful……just know that they’re just going through a phase. It too shall pass just like it did for you!

Sometimes...you can help them and sometimes all you can do is to be there for support and let them know how much they’re loved.

And the rest will fall into place.

So please stop beating yourself up thinking you’re doing a bad job, unless you can find a parent who’s never had ANY problems with their kids EVER!

You’re merely being human.

Note: If you DO find a parent who’ve never had ANY problems with their kids (and the kids turned out to be great), I would like to be the first one to know about them.

3. Being scared to feel scared

‘How do I get rid of my fears entirely so that I can go out and be my best self?’

This is a question that I get asked ALOT. And I’ve got some good news and bad news!

Bad news is….YOU CANNOT!

Good news is……I can show you how to TURN FEAR INTO AN ASSET!

We all have fear at some level or another for different things, people and situations. But unfortunately, fear is a commonly misunderstood feeling just because we give the wrong meaning to it.

The reason why you’re alive today…is because of FEAR.

Think about it this way…..imagine your ancestors thousands and thousands of years ago…..during hunter gatherer period…when they had to deal with a lot of dangerous circumstances; they survived because of fear!

Anyone who didn’t feel fear enough….got wiped out of this earth. So the mere reason why you’re born today is because your ancestors had enough fear in them to survive. It’s inbuilt to our human nature.

Wanting to get rid of fear is like wanting to get rid of your own shadow!

It ain’t going to happen!

However, you can use fear as a compass. I’ve written a dedicated article on how to do exactly that, hence I’m not going to repeat.

You just don’t have to get scared of feeling fear! It’s just another feeling like ‘happiness’!

Do you worry when you feel happy? If the answer is no, treat ‘fear’ the same!

The next time you feel fear when reaching out to someone big, making a presentation, speaking publicly, going for an interview/negotiation, or whatever else you fill your life with…

Good! It means that you’re about to do something great!

Feel the fear and do it anyway! Because that too shall pass!

Wanting to get rid of it means that you’ve forgotten you’re human.

And ….if you don’t know this already….

In life some of the things you do will work out...and some of it won’t.

Now If you think…. ”I know that Vindya! Duh!!”

Well…do you? Because if you did, you wouldn’t be going at everything in life as if it’s a matter of life and death! Would you?

It may sound stupid! But it’s a simple truth in life that we all forget.

*****Ok…I know I said 3 Signs…but I had to write this one too

4. Expecting to be an exception to the rule because you’re serving a higher purpose

How many instances have you seen a person being rewarded not necessarily because they’re the best at what they do, but because they put themselves out there more?

Or a person with average talent make a bucket load of money, while people with greater gifts are just scraping by?

How many times have you failed to convince a point…regardless of how great your work is?

I hear a lot of people who do creative work/entrepreneurs who do what they do because they’re on a mission…..get surprised about the fact that they’re not served a better hand in life just because they’re doing work that’s for the greater good.

Another truth of life is that you cannot escape hard work, proactively marketing your vision, making sales, making money, principles of business, social norms….just because you’re creating something great.

They’re things that’s equal to all human beings regardless of what you do.

Just because you’re a good person, doesn’t mean that other people are going to automatically discover your greatness and reward you for it

Or money is going to flow through the door…or you can get away with slacking off and not put in the work necessary to get the results!….or the deals are going to magically appear without you having to lift a finger.

It’s a truth of life that each and everyone of us have to do our part before the universe starts to reward you for it

regardless of your gender, age, race or religion.

This is why you see people with lesser talents move forward and you’re left wondering why not me! Rather than understanding what part you need to play…you’ve spent your time complaining about how the system doesn’t work..or how the society is bad..

Again….defying this as a truth of life….is again forgetting that you’re a human living in a human world.

———–

I hope this made some sense and gave a different perspective even in the slightest possible way.

Sincerely,

V.

How Ordinary People Can Do Extraordinary Things!



If you dream of doing extraordinary things but every now and then, you ask the question “Who Do I Think I Am?”…don’t worry…..it’s perfectly normal.

So today, I want to share with you a podcast I did recently with April Seifert on her  great Podcast Women Inspired.

In our conversation we talk about;

  • How we underestimate ourselves & what we are capable of achieving
  • The impact of other people’s words on our own ability to set and achieve goals
  • Imposter syndrome and HOW TO TAME IT!
  • Practical tips for playing bigger

Have a listen and comment below.

What has been your biggest insight from this episode?

Love,

V.

How Successful People Jump Leaps & Bounds Before You Know It

Hi!

I'm Vindya.

You know that you are meant to be doing something much bigger than you do now. You are even scared to say it out loud because no one would understand. Well, bring in your biggest dreams and your biggest fears and I will help you get there faster than you ever thought possible.

Time and time again I come across very smart people who would like to take their current role in their career to the next stage or double the income in their business, take on more responsibility, make a bigger impact, get more recognition, make more money …..you name it.

Most people come to me with very rigid lines in their mind about who they are, what they can and can’t do. And some of them even tell me that their challenge is that they need to be able to communicate better, write better emails, have more confidence, network more…and the list goes on.

As if they knew for sure that if they ‘did’ something different, they would have everything that they don’t have. Or if they stopped ‘doing’ some things, the challenges they are facing would go away.

And then they would be happier, have better people around them, be less stressed, take more vacations, make more money, make a bigger impact, etc.

So, the moment that they feel like something is missing their first idea is to upskill, do another course, a certification, a degree, work faster, work better, be more ‘productive’, manage time better, learn ‘persuasion’, “Win friends and influence people”, etc.

But very few people stop to ask themselves the question……

” What if I don’t have to ‘DO’ anything different?….”

“What if I’m not missing anything?”

“What if it’s about doing exactly the opposite of what I’ve been ‘DOING’ all this time….”

In fact…

What if it’s got less to do with doing…and more to do with how you are BEING?

Ahhhhhh……………

Yes…..

BEING!!!

What if it’s not another skills you need to pick or a course you need to do, another seminar that you have to go to….

But what if…just by shifting who you are being…..you challenges would go away….?

Everything that you want that you don’t have…would appear in front of you….

Everything that you don’t want to have in your life…..would just disappear like magic….

And every problem that you think you feel stuck in….would become unstuck…

Just…….what if?

This has been the basis of my work since I started my profession (sure… the skills, the tactics and the strategies play a part in it) and the very moment somebody realise this, their whole world changes.

But you have to be willing to open your eyes and look at the world from a different lens. And stop making excuses for the lens you are already wearing.

Because everything that you have in your life is because of the way you’re being right now. And everything that you don’t want in your life, is because you’re being in a way of attracting them.

So, before you think of taking another course, start another degree, or a certification….ask yourself….

What challenges do I wish would go away?

What goals have I been struggling to get to?

How am I being around these challenges?

Is it time to change the lens?



Now, I would love to hear from you:

What is one insight that changed everything for you from this article?

And what is one tiny action you are going to take as a result of that insight?

Use the comment box down below and share as much detail as possible in your reply as your story may help someone else have an even greater insight.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here.

Sincerely,

V.

P.S. Since it’s coming to the end of January 2019 already, if you still feel like you haven’t set yourself up to win, come join me and our community of extraordinary High Performers and let’s make this year an amazing one.

Got a difficult boss to deal with or a tough person to manage?

Since the industrial age, books had been written, trainings have been created and courses have been held on handling difficult people. Specially in the corporate set-up. There are lots of techniques among these that work to a great extent. However, I’ve heard of many cases and I personally know myself that none of these tactics have worked.

 

And 99% of the time it’s because of something that cannot be explained by logic, strategies and tactics. Yet, very few know about it.  The people who are aware of this are very successful at dealing with difficult, sensitive situations as well as have great awareness of themselves.

 

The reason why this cannot be explained using logic is because the root cause lies at a human level.

So let me tell you a story…

 

Once upon a time ago…in a far far away land…(just kidding)

 

Story 1

 

Once a highly talented professional came to me asking for help with his work. He felt like calling in sick every morning all because of one person: his manager… In his words ‘I feel like quitting everyday. I hate when she micromanages, it just drives me crazy. I think it’s time I quit’.

 

I’m sure we’ve all felt like this at one stage or another. While I felt for him putting up with this for 8 hours/day, 5 days a week, I needed to find out exactly what was happening. So through our conversation I found out she was keeping her fingers in the pie, at all times, just to meet her deadlines.

 

Unhealthy management style? Sure… But this was not the issue here. The issue lies in how he felt when she did this. And when I dug a little deeper I discovered the way his manager was acting made him feel untrustworthy, controlled and micro managed.

 

Something interesting about this professional was freedom was one of his highest values and her behaviour was triggering emotions from his childhood of not trustworthy, controlled and deep down feeling not good enough. So when he’d see her at work, he’d be angry, frustrated and anxious.

 

Maybe the manager was acting wrong, but regardless, the emotions being triggered had nothing to do with her. And the very moment he came to understand this, he became self-aware enough to create a strategy to deal with it.

 

Story 2

 

An Executive level manager once came to me with to complain about how a subordinate of his was super difficult to manage. He said he tried everything in the textbook and nothing seem to work!

 

The Executive manager was even considering letting her go because she’d been ‘told’ many times and still no improvement.

 

When I dug deeper (as I do!) it was clear the subordinate was not necessarily acting disrespectfully, but rather some of the things she did (for whatever the reason) the Executive was giving it the meaning ‘disrespectful’.

 

And not surprisingly….this wasn’t the first time someone had been acting this way…

 

It turned out, this subordinate’s behaviour was triggering a memory of people from his childhood! (crazy, right?)

 

And what was happening was, because this being a sensitive spot for the Executive, everytime someone behaved even remotely close to the behaviour he saw as a child, it brings back all the negative emotions he felt when he was a child.

 

Hence, ‘that person is disrespectful’!

 

—–

 

So what’s the point?

 

When we interact with other, even for a brief moment, we filter a lot of information we see, hear and feel through our past experiences, a lot even from childhood. And as a result, a lot of emotions get triggered even when they have no relevance.

 

Unless you are a very self aware person and have dealt with all of the baggage from the past (regardless how perfect you think your childhood was) it’s very easy to miss this.

 

‘So what do I do about this Vindya?’…

 

Well….have you encountered the same kind of scenario with different people from different teams or companies in the past? Think of a person you’ve had difficulty dealing with…

 

How do they make you feel?

What do they do to make you feel that way?

Are there patterns in behaviour?

Who from your past gave you the same negative feelings?

 

Please note that for you to do this, you have really dig deep into your psyche. I may make it sound easy as I’ve been doing what I do for years.

 

Some of the most mysterious cases gets resolved this way. While all tactics you’ve learned will make you a great professional, being aware of the emotional side would move you leaps and bounds.

 

So here’s the challenge I would like to leave you with…

 

What relationship do you have at work, in your business or at home, do you wish was easier?

 

And if you do change things around, how would that change things for you?

 

XOXO,

V.

P.S. If you’d like to know more, download free book ‘5 Secrets The Super Successful Use To Smash Through Glass Ceilings And Catapult Their Career To The Top’.

How to make FEAR Your Weapon

Is there a project/idea that you’ve been craving to take on?
But you never got started with it…

Maybe the time was never right.
Maybe there wasn’t enough money.
Maybe you never found the courage to move forward with it

Or maybe when you think of starting, you ask the question…

‘Who do you think you are to be dreaming of doing something so big…..when you are not even good enough to be doing what you’re doing now’

Each and every one of us has asked this from yourself at one stage or another….

And most people would take it to heart and stop….

Stop dreaming.
Stop growing.
They stay put.
Stay mediocre.
Stay invisible.
Continue to be comfortable…

…so you don’t get hurt if you fail!

But the few who understand these thoughts are actually normal… are the ones who make the impossible happen….

———

First of… if you’ve had these thoughts, the only thing it means is that you’re human!

As humans, biologically we’re wired to feel fear when we’re in danger!

It’s good!
It’s normal!
It keeps us safe!

Unfortunately….the part where we get tricked is when our subconscious has a hard time differentiating real danger (like a tiger in your room) to a made up fear (like speaking in front of an audience).

So the very moment you try to do something different….
Something out of the ordinary….
Something that makes your heart sing although it makes no logical sense….

Your subconscious kicks in the same danger response because it’s wired itself to believe that ‘new’ = danger!
.
But in actual fact it just wants you to be safe….

Safe from getting hurt (that you may not feel)…
Safe from failure (that might not happen)…
Safe from the humiliation (you most likely will not face)…
.
So we make a decision to become the person who never tried….
Because if you don’t try, you’d will definitely fail.
.
I can also guarantee you that you would NEVER know what you could become either!
.
The difference between a person who does extraordinary things and the person who’s ordinary, is that the person who’s extraordinary understands the fear, acknowledged it…
And sent it aside as just a thought in their mind….
Nothing more…nothing less….
.
Fear is often the greatest indicator of something amazing you want to create, become or do…

The question is: which way will you use it…
.
Would you use is as a security blanket….
Or would you use it as a weapon to move forward?

XO,

V.

P.S. If this is the year you’re going to use your fear as your weapon – in a community of talented high performers – then Click Here.

Why You Never Achieve the Things on Your Vision Board…(and what to do about it!)

So…you’ve been thinking about doing a vision board but never got around to it!

Or….you’ve had one for some time but still there’s a lot of stuff that’s been there for quite a while, but never realised!

Maybe you’re not even sure whether it would be possible to get everything you want in life, because it looks so far away from where you are.

After a few conversations with a number of my clients, I thought I’d set the record straight!

Vision boards are NOT a board with pretty pictures of sceneries, blue skies and beaches to look at. If you want to do it right and actually achieve the things on your vision board, there’s certain do’s and don’t that apply.

So, let me start with a vision board that I picked randomly to take as examples of WHAT NOT TO DO when you create a vision board.

The universe around you is very creative & powerful and it can make anything happen for you. Now…although the universe is very powerful….It cannot read your mind and the only thing it has to go on making your vision a reality is what you put down on the board.

So…let me read this board as the universe would….

0. She wants go on camping

  1. She want a bottle of wine and 2 full glasses
  2. She wants a guitar (or go for guitar lessons?)
  3. She wants play with a bunch of balloons
  4. She would like to have a bowl of fruit
  5. She wants to have a window like that, wood floors and white benchtop
  6. Some words that she likes (not sure what to do with that)
  7. She wants to stay in a hotel with a pool like that (in Bali?)
  8. She wants a bicycle
    You get my point…..!

But my feeling is that the person who created this board just wanted to have fun, enjoy, relax and have more holidays. But unfortunately, the universe read the vision board as it is. Literally!

At the moment it’s so confusing, the universe just gives up and forget about it. And that’s when the things on your board never come true.

So without taking any more time…here are tips to creating a great vision board that would actually get you to your vision without a fail.

1. Set-up only for the next 12 months
It feels great when we put up so many great photos of blue skies, holidays, babies, weddings, lamborghinis, etc. The chances that you would get all of them is not very little. And what happens as a result of putting things that looks soo…big, overwhelming and decades out into the future, is that everytime you look at it….it’s because something that’s merely a dream and nothing else. And every year when you look at them…you subconsciously don’t believe that you can get it. Because you’ve gotten to the habit of just dreaming about it.

Tip: Have only the things you want to achieve (holidays, buying a new dress, getting married, buying the next car,etc) on the board.

2. Have things that inspire you on a seperate board
A lot of the time we mix up inspiration with our mission. For an example, if there are words (like on the board above), quotes, celebrities that when you look at them that inspires you, remove them from the vision board and have them on a different wall/board.

The only time you’d have a celebrity (or a person you look up to) on the vision board is when you have real plans to go and meet that person within the coming 12 months. Otherwise, they have nothing to do with your vision board.

3. Be as real as you can
Make sure that everything you put up there is as close as it can get to what you truly want. For an example, if you want to go on a holiday…research the exact hotel you want to stay at, the places you want to visit and have photos of those EXACT places/hotel room.

If it’s a car you want to buy, have a photo of the exact model/color of the car you would like to have. The more specific the better. If you’ve always wanted to write a book, design a simple book cover with your name on it and put it on a shelf of a bookstore photo.

So now you can see why a photo of a random hotel with a pool wouldn’t make sense to the universe.

——————–

Pro Tip: make sure you have few quick small wins that you can have in a couple of months time. Then when you achieve them, the universe knows that you are serious about achieving the rest of them, because you’ve already done it a couple of times. Make winning a habit!

Do you see how this is very different to having a board that you would feel depressed when you look at them day in day out?

So…what do you have on your board that might be too difficult for the Universe to read?

Love,

V.

P.S. If you are a couple, get your partner to do it with you. They will love you for it. While this can be so much fun, this also becomes crucial in creating your life together. The only difference will be that there will be some stuff on the board that will be relevant individually as well as together.

Are You A Mover & Shaker Or Are You Just A Talker?

Answer this question honestly: Are you a mover & shaker or are you just a talker?

I talk to lots of people on a regular basis. Every one of them wants to achieve something amazing. Start a business. Become a consultant. Earn more money. Do work they love AND get paid. Most of the time, it’s all talk.

Whatever their goal is, I invariably ask the question “How many people have you talked to this week that can help you get your goal?” Let alone this last year…

Here’s some of the answers I get:
Ahh, well none.
I just haven’t gotten around to it.
Or the worst one…
Well, I’ve been reading this book that’s going to show me how to get it.

Curiously, I then ask a few more questions:

How many people did you message on Facebook?
How many catch ups did you schedule?
How many coffees did you grab?
How much time did you spend scrolling through social media or watching Netflix?

If the answers to those questions are greater than the first (especially by a lot), we’ve got a problem.

Many people talk a big game, but when it comes to taking the necessary action to achieve their goals, something always comes up. They’re talkers. They’re interested in success, but not committed. There’s a BIG difference.

Take my client Sarah. When I started working with Sarah, she came to me with a big dream. She already knew exactly what she wanted to do. Her goal was to start her own consulting business, securing 6 figure government contracts and servicing A-players. Sarah was excited, enthusiastic and even though she was quite experienced in the public sector, she was overwhelmed with everything she THOUGHT she needed to do.

So I asked her, who are the people that would know EXACTLY what to do? She told me the names of a number of executives. A-players. Industry heavyweights. The kind of executives that make people sweat just walking into their office.

I said great! Now go talk to them.

“What!?”

Go talk to them.

“Vindya… I can’t just go ta…”

Go talk to them!

I could tell she was intimidated. The very moment I told her to go talk to them, her mind said NO WAY. She decided she couldn’t. She gave me every excuse in the book.

“No one will speak to me…. I’m nobody compared to these people.”

But I ONLY work with movers & shakers. And despite her excuses, Sarah IS a mover & shaker. That was one of the many reasons I took her on as a client. So I set her a challenge…

Send out 100 messages to 100 executives, asking for a quick chat.

I’d thrown her overboard, in stormy seas and told her to find her way back to shore. I was there in the lifeboat keeping a close eye on her, but in the rough water was exactly where she needed to be and a task she needed to do.

You don’t grow by reading books or by doing another course. You grow by getting out there, jumping into stormy seas (metaphorically) and doing what’s necessary. I knew she could do it. And it’s my job to get her to do the things she doesn’t want to do, in order for her to have the life she doesn’t already have.

So after sitting on my challenge for a week, she finally started sending messages. And even though she thought it was going to be a complete disaster, surprisingly (to her), the complete opposite occurred…

These executives, these A-players, these industry heavyweights that she thought were untouchable and unreachable, some of them actually said yes to talking with her. A number of them were HAPPY she reached out to them! All because she ASKED.

And after the first few nervous interviews, she calmed down and actually started enjoying herself. Acting like a total Pro. Did she know what was going to happen before sending those messages? No, all she had to do was send the messages. And THEN take the next step. Something Sarah thought was impossible, was now EASY.

See, It’s not about knowing every single step of the plan and in what order to take. It’s about taking THIS step. The first step. And you think about the next step when you get to it. Even the best business plans are made up.

So, the results? From those 100 messages, 79 either said no or didn’t get back to her. 21 said yes. 21! And because of that, she received a serious advantage, insider information and knew EXACTLY what to do next with her business.

Now, a question for you…

Are you ready to be a mover & shaker? Do you have a big dream you want to accomplish, one that looks impossible? A dream everyone else says you’ll never achieve, but deep down, on some level, you know it’s exactly what you were meant for. If so, you need to become the person capable of achieving your goals and dreams, taking things to the next level and crushing your old standards.

People don’t just ‘talk’ about their goals and dreams and achieve them. They transform themselves into a mover & shaker and they are PROPELLED to their goals and dreams, creating an exponential life.

Is it hard? Yes.
Is it going to suck at times? Probably.
Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Truth is, if you don’t transform yourself into a mover & shaker and go after your dreams, you’re really only lying to yourself. And in 5.. 10.. 20 years time, you’ll wake up from your dream wishing you had the courage to start.

However, if you’re ready to become a mover & shaker and take the first step… I have good news!

Hi my name is Vindya Vee and I’m a High-Performance Coach who works with industry Heavyweights, A-Players and Movers & Shakers.

I’m opening my doors for a strictly limited time and offering a 90-minute coaching session to 3 extraordinary women who dream of creating an empowering, EXPONENTIAL life. The best part, it’s free!

Here’s what you’ll discover:

How to plan, execute and achieve ALL your goals and dreams
The mindset of movers & shakers, high level executives and industry heavyweights
How to create an exponential life, faster than you ever thought possible!

This free strategy session has helped more than 51 women make their quantum leap just in the last 6 months alone and has the power and potential to do the same for you.

Click here to apply

It’s a new world out there today and I can give you the tools to make your quantum leap and have the same advantage as A-Players, industry heavyweights and Movers & Shakers – however – if you do nothing, please remember, in 5 years’ time when you’re exactly where you are today, playing a smaller game and beating yourself up for it, that I did warn you.

WARNING: Before you apply for your free strategy session you must understand that this is NOT for everyone. This is not for ‘talkers’, people just ‘interested’ in achieving their goals and dreams and people who don’t want to do anything. If that’s the case go renew your Netflix subscription instead.

However, if you know what you want to achieve, you’re COMMITTED to pursuing your dreams, and you’re ready to become a Mover & Shaker, then apply for your FREE strategy session now. By the way, I recommend you apply quickly, I only have a limited amount of spots available each month and they always fill up fast.

To your success,

– V

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5 Fatal Mistakes You Must Avoid on The Route to A Successful and Fulfilling Career

Hi!

I'm Vindya.

You know that you are meant to be doing something much bigger than you do now. You are even scared to say it out loud because no one would understand. Well, bring in your biggest dreams and your biggest fears and I will help you get there faster than you ever thought possible.

Recent research by Pew Research Center revealed 48% of women working in a male dominated STEM environment say ‘their gender has made it harder for them to succeed in their job.’ Being a woman also made it more difficult to secure a promotion. Fortune notes only 6.4% of Fortune 500 companies have a woman at the helm. With International

Women’s Day just passing by (March 8th), it’s timely to discuss how women can smash through the glass ceiling on route to a successful and fulfilling career at the top.

As much as I could write for days about the faux pas of forgetting your roots, not updating your skills, not setting clearly defined goals, clambering over others in an ambitious ploy to get ahead… and how these can be detrimental to achieving a successful, fulfilling career, I want to delve deeper, right down to those challenges not many people talk about.

You know, the ones that matter.

And when you throw ‘fulfilment’ into the mix… Well, many forget to consider life satisfaction early in their career, with the resultant later regret.

After six years in the corporate management realm and three as a high-performance coach, I’ve discovered there are some common threads, some familiar mistakes, that hold women back from achieving their impossible and a life they love.

What are they? I’m glad you asked!

1. Being Comfortable in the Grey Zone

It’s common to become so darn good and praised for something, that you settle right down into that comfortable space. This is a mistake many highly talented women make. When you perform at a significantly higher level than those around you and are constantly looked up to as the expert — the companies veritable bees knees — the push from your team can drop away. Those who can move you forward may be off leading other teams not beside you, egging you forward. When you are a high performer, this adulation can be addictive, although not constructive.
The higher up the ladder you climb, whether in your own business or another’s, the less constructive criticism is on offer. Those below you don’t want to risk retaliation, those above you are contented… After all, your work is at a high standard. Little do they know what you might be able to achieve, if you’re brutally honest with yourself.

While you may be an elite performer, ticking off targets and growing a good team, compared to playing at your full capacity, you’re treading water. In the long run, this will cause you to underperform.
So, what can you do about it?

The moment you realise what you do is no longer significantly challenging; the point at which you recognise you achieve set tasks efficiently leaving ample time to twiddle your thumbs, bored and under challenged, it is time to chase that next challenge and push your boundaries further. As they say, if you’re not growing you’re dying. It’s time to move forward and create a new legacy.

 

2. Your Mentor - The Be All and End All?

What is more damaging than not having a support network? Having the wrong kind of support.

While you know you are meant for something greater than your current position, your company may not realise… or even have the know-how to enable you to achieve it.

It is at this point many smart people seek out a mentor.

Sensible strategy!

However, there’s a catch. A mentor can only help you with something that s/he has done. They can only show you what they have achieved, given the circumstances they were working in. So, if you are reaching for a goal that somebody else has attained, this might be the best move. They can illuminate the best path forward for you, and support you as you progress.

But if you are one of the rare creatures, with an entrepreneurial heart and spark, who dream of following the path less travelled… even a path not yet created… this could either slow you down or jam you abruptly and unhappily on the wrong path. You need to find a high performance coach who will support you in chasing the unthinkable and encourage, guide and focus you on the best way to achieve the impossible.

If you wanna play a much bigger game, you need the right support network around you to challenge you, help you discover the secrets to break through previously unbroken barriers and do it (kind of) comfortably in your own skin.

This will determine how far you go.

 

3. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

The mindset harnessed, strategies followed, tactics used and people followed to get you here simply won’t get you there.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”
– Albert Einstein

Ok, so where you are now isn’t a problem per se, but Albert’s words clarify a truth. You are here because of your current thinking. To change, to achieve more, to explode from your current cocoon in a vivid array of accomplished colours, you need to grow and alter your mindset further.

As most would understand, you need a new set of skills to achieve something bigger, better and more fulfilling. But that’s where a lot of people stop.

And this will lead to a profound, potentially painful downfall.

Most of the time, in my experience, skill (or the ‘how to’) is the last element lacking. If you are chasing your next big thing and, after trying for a while you’re still not there, it’s because you haven’t quite achieved the right mindset. To explain in the simplest terms, the mindset you require at an employee level is completely different to being your own boss. An employee mindset in a business owners body is a sure fire way to failure.

This may sound like a fluffy topic, although the world of neuroplasticity and brain science shows it isn’t. And this single reason could explain why you haven’t got to where you want to, yet.
The incredible thing is, I’ve seen a two-second insight transform an entire outlook. This is how some elite-performing people have changed the world, sometimes overnight.
So, a crucial question to ask yourself honestly is, what beliefs do you hold that are getting in the way?

 

4. Ignoring Values That Stab You In The Back

Whether the desire is a new role, a pay rise or a specific client on the books, everything we do as humans is driven by deep rooted values. Most of the time these values are hidden, laying under the cover of subconsciousness, peddling the wheels that move the cogs of our actions. We cannot not see them when we look from above.

If you are not aware of these values, conflict will invariably arise. If I asked you now what values you hold, the chances that you would really know the deep-down true values that pedal those cogs are very slim.
Confronting? Yes! You might even be filled by a flurry of thoughts shouting, ‘She doesn’t know what she’s talking about?’ That’s ok too. Stick with me…

Let’s explore the true story of one of my past clients.

She was consciously driven to become incredibly successful in her field. She’d watched her family struggle financially when growing up, and didn’t want that for her own. Yet when she was a child, her parents often commented that, ‘successful people take advantage!’ In her case, she couldn’t permanently reach further than a certain level. Higher level success came, and with it, sufficient self-sabotage to pull her back down to where her hidden values thought she should be.
Gay Hendricks also talks about this in his book, The Big Leap.

It’s not uncommon.
The solution?

Firstly, understand your highest values before working you way up the ladder; the sooner the better. That way, you will enjoy your successes, have an easier path, and both get the very best from, and become your very best self.

Secondly, make sure you are acutely aware of any conflicting, competing values. Work on these before they do real, irrevocable harm.

Thirdly, if these values have been undermining your efforts and subverting your success, now is the time to deal with them.

 

5. Assuming It's A Straight Line

Accept and embrace the convoluted path to higher level success. See in the earlier days, there was less to lose. Less pay, pride, and position. As you rose to lofty ranks, the way down now appears perilous, full of dangers and deadly depths. So you take less risks in order to remain on top of your perch. However, it was the risks that previously reaped each new reward.

The bar for success is often higher each time you take on a new role or start a fresh project. This provides the opportunity to grow and develop, to craft a new and invigorated, expansive mindset.

It also offers the chance to settle right down into that comfortable space we talked about earlier, and pass the work, responsibility and blame onto others. This is a mistake common in the highly talented fraternity.

Failure to step out onto the ledge and take educated risks results in lost opportunities, or even worse, not realising your full potential.

And remember, whatever you did to get here will not get you there, especially when you crave greater things.
The solution?

Fall in love with the process. As with anything new, you sometimes have to suck for a while before competence kicks in. A step back may be needed to take 10 steps forward and leave an even greater legacy.

 



Now, I would love to hear from you:

What is one insight that changed everything for you from this article?

And what is one tiny action you are going to take as a result of that insight?

Use the comment box down below and share as much detail as possible in your reply as your story may help someone else have an even greater insight.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here.

Sincerely,

XOXO

 

V.